“We’re here!”
I had given up on sleeping and was tossing and turning when the members came home relatively early and in decent condition.
It seemed they had only shown their faces at the event for an hour or two out of courtesy.
However, one spot was empty.
“Where’s Kang Ichae?”
Kang Ichae was nowhere to be seen.
“Uh, Ichae’s at the company. Said he was working.”
Given his usual personality, he would either be the first to suggest a get-together with the members or hole up in his room playing games.
“…Well, okay.”
I knew I couldn’t just leave Kang Ichae alone like this, but I felt that if I tried to intervene now, it would only make things worse, so I decided to postpone dealing with this issue.
I greeted the tired-looking members and returned to my room.
In the end, I lay in bed alone and stayed up all night.
In the late afternoon, I rubbed my tired eyes, got ready, and headed out.
The destination was a restaurant that served neat traditional Korean meals.
I was guided to a private room I had reserved over the phone and was casually flipping through the menu while waiting for my guest.
After a short while, the sliding door burst open.
“Hyung!!”
“…Whoa, you scared me.”
I looked up, wondering where he had picked up such a habit, only to see Seo Hojin approaching with his eyebrows raised.
“Why haven’t you been answering your phone?”
Despite his expression and the volume of his voice, his tone was cautious.
“Because it’s annoying.”
“…”
Seo Hojin glared at me with dissatisfaction at my indifferent reply.
Ignoring him, I pressed the call bell and ordered the meal from the staff.
Seeing my nonchalant attitude, Seo Hojin’s cheeks twitched in frustration.
“…Right, like I could have a conversation with that guy. Calm down, Hojin. You’re doing great, Hojin. You’re the best, Hojin.”
“That guy? You wanna die?”
Even though my eyebrow twitched, I didn’t say anything more and plopped into the seat across from him.
At least he seems okay.
I thought I might need to comfort him today, but seeing him talk and grumble reassured me a bit.
It meant he had the luxury to do so.
“Hyung, you know…”
“Let’s eat first.”
Just then, the staff came in and filled the table with food.
I raised my spoon first to stop him from talking, and after a moment’s hesitation, Seo Hojin sighed and picked up his chopsticks.
His lips were still pouted, but he ate the food heartily.
“Is it good?”
“…Yeah, it’s good.”
After swallowing a spoonful of soup, I watched him finish his meal before asking.
“How’s your health?”
“Can’t you see? I’m all better.”
He seemed unusually irritable today, even though he was past his adolescent years.
As I picked up a side dish with my chopsticks, I noticed a shopping bag in my peripheral vision.
Seeing the leaves and petals peeking out, I realized Seo Hojin had actually bought a bouquet.
Did he really buy that?
What kind of guy in his twenties buys something just because his hyung told him to?
I scratched my head, feeling both amused and awkward.
As I wondered when I could tease him about it, I suddenly remembered receiving a similar gift from Seo Hojin in the past.
There was a letter with it back then.
I had preserved a few petals in the letter.
Where did I put it?
Is this filial piety?
Seo Hojin had a tendency to do things that were more typical between parents and children or siblings.
I was lost in unnecessary thoughts about how he might end up giving me carnations, money tissues, and money bouquets in the name of filial piety when Seo Hojin abruptly put down his soup bowl with a clatter.
“Now that we’re done eating, let’s talk.”
“Oh, sure.”
It was obvious even without asking.
It must be about the leak.
“Are you okay?”
Since I did it, of course, I was okay.
Even if he knew my personality, he wouldn’t think I’d go this far.
“Of course.”
Despite my answer, the worry didn’t disappear from Seo Hojin’s eyes as he looked at me.
“Are you okay? You’re keeping your promise not to talk about me outside, right?”
Seo Hojin nodded slowly without a word.
“That’s a relief. Keep doing that.”
In this industry, no matter how well you hide it, there was no such thing as perfect privacy.
For now, people might look at me with sympathy, but you never know when that could turn into a sharp weapon.
Moreover, there was no need to put the label of “orphan” on Seo Hojin, who was doing well in a good university as the class president.
I just wanted the kid to live an ordinary life.
Today, tomorrow—unchanged.
This is enough.
Seo Hojin was healthy, and he was eating well in front of me.
The faces of the other members briefly crossed my mind, but I quickly brushed them off.
I was about to end the conversation, feeling relieved that it was a good conclusion—
“Was there really nothing wrong?”
—when Seo Hojin gave me a doubtful look.
“I was perfectly healthy.”
“Really? For real? Swear to the sky?”
“This kid is persistent. Why, are you worried?”
I was honestly taken aback by Seo Hojin’s unusually persistent questioning.
Instead of saying anything unnecessary, I decided to ease his anxiety.
“It’s in the past, Hojin.”
I said it with an expression that showed it really was nothing.
“It doesn’t mean anything anymore.”
As I even gave a faint smile, Seo Hojin averted his gaze.
Under the table, I nervously flicked my nails and took a sip of water.
My conscience was increasingly trying to invade at all times.
After all, I was the one who had stirred up a quiet incident.
And I was the one who had made Seo Hojin show such an expression.
“Oh, right. I got some time off this time.”
With the end of Shining Star Season 2 and the preparation for the new album, I had received some vacation time.
I thought I might go back home for a while and indulge in a bit of laziness.
“Let’s go see our parents together after a long time, and if you need anything, let’s go shopping.”
Feeling that I had been neglecting Seo Hojin lately, I spoke softly, even though it wasn’t like me, and it made me feel itchy inside.
“And if there’s anything you want to do, you can do it with hyung…”
Just as I was awkwardly continuing my words, I was taken aback.
Tears started to fall from Seo Hojin’s eyes.
“…!!”
Why, all of a sudden?
“Hey, uh… why are you crying?”
Normally, I would have laughed and teased him, but I was so completely at a loss that I was left dumbfounded.
Seo Hojin glared at me with red eyes.
“Hyung, you’re really good at lying.”
“…!”
Unconsciously, I flinched and pulled back.
Did he find out that I was the one who spread the news about our parents’ accident?
My slow-beating heart started to race.
Seo Hojin wiped his eyes with his sleeve.
“Dajun called me. He said hyung was acting strange.”
“…What?”
“After the leak, hyung was out of it for days. He said you were living like a zombie, not sleeping properly. He asked if it was okay to leave you like that.”
“…”
“He even said you were overdoing it every time you got sick.”
Although Seo Hojin’s tone was accusatory, the fact that he hadn’t discovered my role in the leak was the first thing that registered in my mind.
At the same time, even though I knew he acted out of concern, a sense of betrayal toward Jeong Dajun crept in.
“Why is Jeong Dajun calling you?”
“Is that really the issue right now?”
Seo Hojin’s expression gradually crumbled.
Since workplace issues had never affected my family, I was overwhelmed by the unprecedented situation.
Ha, I shouldn’t have brought them to the house…
“It’s just a fuss.”
I clicked my tongue in annoyance, ruffling my hair, and let out a long sigh.
“Don’t listen to those people from my workplace.”
“…No.”
No?
We had already settled these kinds of matters years ago.
And now he was saying no?
I wanted to say something, but I had my own faults, and I didn’t want to be harsh to my crying dongsaeng.
In the end, all I could do was to muster up all the patience I could.
“You can just hear it from me. Involving others will only make it more troublesome.”
“I said no.”
Fuck.
“Do you want to die? Why aren’t you listening to me?”
Yeah, trying to act like a kind hyung didn’t suit me.
“Just ignore whoever contacts you and tell them you don’t have a hyung, you brat.”
“…Huh?”
Seo Hojin tilted his head, looking incredulous.
“Then you should also act like you don’t have a dongsaeng and stop caring about what I do.”
“…??”
“Actually, why don’t we just cut ties altogether?”
His extreme response made my blood pressure rise.
“Don’t be ridiculous. Are you crazy?”
“Why, can’t we do that?”
But Seo Hojin seemed equally pissed off.
“What difference does it make if we cut ties? I hear more about you from celebrity articles than directly from you. Did you know I get more notifications about school fees than calls from you?”
Words poured out in a rush.
“Hyung, I even turned down Dajun when he asked if he could come over. I thought you’d hate it. I kept thinking you’d tell me eventually.”
Seo Hojin, who had been holding back his feelings, finally closed his eyes tightly.
“But you never contacted me, not once.”
“…”
Seo Hojin, gritting his teeth, stood up and let out a small breath.
“…I’ve been staring at my phone whenever I had time, just in case you called.”
I could only watch my dongsaeng’s behavior in a daze, as if I had been hit.
“When I finally got a text from you…”
Seo Hojin, struggling to compose himself, rubbed his tear-streaked eyes with his sleeve and glared at me.
“What? ‘Hyung won’?”
“…”
“Fucking bouquet?!”
Still upset, Seo Hojin took the bouquet he had carefully packed in a shopping bag and threw it at me.
Whack!
“Ouch!”
“Yeah, fuck. Here’s the bouquet you were so excited about.”
“…!!”
“Congratulations on your first place, you fuck.”
The bouquet hit me square in the face and fell to the floor, petals scattering around.
“What, what.”
I was so shocked by the words coming out of Seo Hojin’s mouth that I stood up, stammering.
“Fuck? Fuck?! Did you just say that to me? And you dare hit your hyung?”
“Yeah, I did. So what? You got a problem with that?”
“Where did you learn to talk like that?!”
“Where do you think? Who do you think I’ve been watching all this time?”
Yeah, you learned the useless stuff exceptionally well, you brat.
I pressed my hand against my forehead, feeling the heat of my anger.
“I don’t even want to see your face for a while. Don’t come home.”
“You idiot, that’s my house!”
“I changed the door code.”
“What?!”
Grabbing the back of my neck due to the rising blood pressure from his repeated rebellion, Seo Hojin took money out of his wallet and slammed it on the table.
“I’m leaving. I don’t need to see your face, just contact me sometimes.”
“What the, hey! Hey!! Are you not coming back?!”
And then he quickly left.
“Hey, Seo Hojin…!!”
I couldn’t even raise my voice out of embarrassment.
I wanted to drag my dongsaeng back and give him a few good knocks on the head, but I just sighed repeatedly and slumped into a chair.
“Wow…, haha, hahaha…”
I couldn’t believe the series of events that had just happened, and a hollow laugh escaped me.
“Does that brat really think we’re the same age?”
Calling me out… that brat to his hyung…!
“Damn it, I raised him wrong. Oh, my blood pressure…”
I flicked away the petals scattered on the table with my fingers.
As my anger subsided, all that was left was regret.
I picked up the bouquet and put it back in the shopping bag, mulling over Hojin’s words.
We shouldn’t have met.
“Ah~.”
I just wanted to have a good meal together and see his face.
It seemed he was also under a lot of stress.
Thinking that, my stomach churned and I let out another sigh.
“That brat, he really inherited my temper…”
Grumbling, I chugged the half-filled glass of water.
My regret finally sank to the bottom, making way for another emotion to surface.
He still doesn’t know.
After all, Seo Hojin was still unaware.
That I had spread the news myself.
Even though he was crying and causing a scene, there was no worry, concern, guilt, or remorse for our parents.
That naive brat.
Fuck, at least I felt relieved.
