“Yeah.”
At the very least, it was clear that Jeong Dajun would become a better adult than me, so I couldn’t say anything more and just shook the poor sparkler in my hand.
“But isn’t this illegal in other countries?”
“Sparkler? There are states where it’s illegal, and some where it’s not. But who actually follows that in the US?”
So they must have been in the US.
“My mom and I had this rule where we’d watch a movie together every Friday, you know? But the fireworks in the opening logo looked so fun that I kept begging her for it.”
“So, was it fun?”
Kang Ichae lifted the corners of his lips slightly and shrugged.
“Maybe not as much as I thought? No… actually, it was a total mess. I screamed my head off because I was scared and threw the fireworks on the ground. But then my mom, even while cleaning up, just laughed her head off at me crying. She’s got a mean streak.”
“You take after your mom, huh?”
“Let me correct you: My mom was super sweet, just like me.”
After tossing out a silly joke and laughing to himself, Kang Ichae’s gaze wandered upward, as if sifting through old memories, and he quietly muttered,
“Ah~. I miss her.”
Watching him, I finally asked the question that had been bugging me for a while.
“Why’d you suddenly open up? You fucking hate talking about your family.”
“…Can you not ruin my warm and fuzzy mood right now?”
He was the type to stay silent even when everyone else was chatting like it was nothing.
Grumbling about me ruining his nostalgia, Kang Ichae clamped his mouth shut and rubbed the back of his neck.
“…Hyung, do you remember lying to me a long time ago?”
“When?”
I’d never made a promise I couldn’t keep, but I lied as easily as breathing, so I had to think about which time he meant.
Kang Ichae stared at me and said,
“When we went to Japan, you said it was your first time, but it wasn’t.”
“…”
For a moment, Kang Ichae’s words didn’t register, and I had to dig through my memories.
Tracing back step by step, I remembered the conversation when we first went to Japan for our overseas debut.
One of the members had asked if it was my first time in Japan, and I’d lied and said yes.[1]
“…That?”
“Yeah, that.”
I rolled my eyes for a second, then was secretly shocked.
“Dude… you still remember that?”
“I have a uselessly good memory.”
Anyway, Kang Ichae continued,
“It was obvious you were lying. You were definitely not someone who’d never been there. Like when you told Dajun there was nothing in Shinjuku, and you knew all the streets and everything.”
That went for me, too.
My memory was annoyingly good, so who would have thought a single family trip to Japan as a kid would stick with me so vividly?
Kang Ichae flicked a few more small sparks, then finally set the now-dead sparkler on the ground.
“Why’d you even bother lying about something as trivial as having been to Japan? It didn’t seem like you were trying to hide anything. I kept thinking about it, and now I get it.”
The faint light of the sparkler in my hand, fading and growing dimmer, shimmered around us.
In the flickering glow, Kang Ichae looked strangely unfamiliar.
“When something’s really precious, you don’t want to tell anyone about it.”
“…”
Eventually, all the sparklers went out, and the only light left was what was coming from the guesthouse.
It was pitch-black night.
“Sometimes that makes me feel a little stifled, so I’m trying to fix it. Trying to be honest.”
I tapped the now-just-a-black-stick sparkler in my hand on the ground and set it down like Kang Ichae.
“I didn’t expect that.”
I couldn’t fully relate to the whole “precious” thing—it was a bit embarrassing—but I thought I understood what he meant.
Everyone had topics they didn’t want to talk about.
In my case, most of them were things involving Seo Hojin.
“So, you’re saying you’ll open up to the members, too?”
“After watching someone, I started thinking maybe being honest isn’t so bad.”
I had no idea what brought on this sudden change of heart, but the Kang Ichae who always dodged or joked his way out of things seemed pretty determined now.
“Kang Ichae, haven’t you changed a bit?”
Suddenly, my conversation with Kim Seonghyeon from earlier popped into my head.
“You have changed.”
At my musing, Kang Ichae’s eyes went wide, then he burst out laughing.
“Puhaha, no. Not really. I’ve always been like this.”
“…”
“Hyung, you have this tendency to get fixated on one thing and ignore everything else.”
Counting off on his fingers, Kang Ichae started talking about the members.
“Look, Dajun’s actually more mature than you think. Jiwon-hyung is kind of… no, actually, he’s pretty cold. Seonghyeon-hyung has clear boundaries, so he can be strict sometimes.”
“So?”
“I’ve got that ‘kind of’ part, too. Get it?”
I couldn’t answer right away and paused to find the words.
In the meantime, Kang Ichae lit another sparkler.
“…So, Ichae.”
“Yeah?”
“If you haven’t changed, why are you so self-conscious?”
I was good at nitpicking and talking back, but I didn’t know how to beat around the bush or be gentle, so I just threw it straight.
“Why aren’t you pushing ahead in your own style? Not caring what others think is one of your strengths. Did you decide to compromise?”
“…Me?”
Kang Ichae looked surprised for a moment, then added, as if he couldn’t believe it,
“What are you talking about? Why would I compromise?”
“Didn’t you? You even changed your composing style that you liked so much.”
I’d thought Kang Ichae had decided to set aside his own desires and cater to the public.
Even just saying that much, Kang Ichae seemed to get it and started laughing like crazy.
“Ah, come on, hyung.”
“…”
“Since when were you so sensitive?”
So what would you think when a stubborn guy like you gave up something he had always stuck to?
Instead of answering, I propped my chin on my hand and let out a deep sigh, while the guy next to me kept snickering, looking like he was in a great mood.
“You know one thing but not the other. I’m not giving up.”
With that, Kang Ichae stood up.
“People get confused sometimes because of my genius, I guess.”
The sparkler in his hand sparkled, scattering light in the air.
A faint whiff of gunpowder tickled my nose, the sticky summer air, the soft sound of insects brushing my ears, the gentle orange lights and the black sky.
And in the midst of it all, Kang Ichae looking down at me.
“—I’m actually really persistent.”
He flashed a bright smile at me.
He looked like an innocent child, but also like an adult who had been through all sorts of storms and came out stronger.
Just as I was thinking that Kang Ichae felt especially unfamiliar tonight, he seemed to come closer—
“Whoa!”
Splash!
I was shoved straight into the pool.
Cool water crashed against my skin.
I kicked off the bottom of the pool, shot up to the surface, and spat out the water that had gotten in my nose and mouth, then looked up.
“Hey!! Kang Ichae!”
Even as I yelled in anger, Kang Ichae just laughed like he was having the time of his life.
I swept my wet hair out of my face and grumbled.
“You dare push your hyung? Are you fucking crazy?”
“Now you know?”
He shot back with that cocky attitude, then tossed his dead sparkler over his shoulder and jumped into the pool himself.
“What are you doing, you punk?”
“Just blowing off some steam?”
“Wanna die?”
“No, I wanna take a picture with you, hyung.”
I had no idea what kind of stress relief that was supposed to be, but I was pissed too, so as Kang Ichae moved to grab the Polaroid camera, I grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and dunked him under.
Even as he swallowed water, the guy’s face was full of composure.
“What are you guys doing?”
Just then, Kim Seonghyeon poked his head through the sliding door, holding a black plastic bag.
It looked like the maknae had dragged him to the convenience store nearby.
Right after, Jeong Dajun showed up with an ice cream in his mouth, and seeing me and Kang Ichae soaked in the pool, he must’ve gotten playful, because he shoved Kim Seonghyeon into the pool.
Seong Jiwon, who arrived a bit late, was no exception.
In the end, we all looked like drowned rats, and didn’t even get to take a single photo, let alone a hundred.
Lee Jihyeon’s going to have something to say about this.
Thinking I’d have to at least snap a few in the morning, I climbed out of the water alone.
“Hoyun-hyung!! Leaving first?! Are you scared?!”
“Yeah, I’m scared. Fuck.”
Ignoring the maknae’s taunt skill, I went into the guesthouse.
“Can’t keep up with these kids’ energy.”
Grumbling that if I played with them any longer I’d end up dead, I grabbed a towel and shook out my hair.
Outside, I could still hear the splashing and shrieking.
Just as I was about to take off my T-shirt for a shower to shake off the stickiness, my phone vibrated.
“Hello?”
– “Why aren’t you answering your phone?”
“Yeah, well….”
I didn’t think there was any reason to answer, or that we were close enough for that, so I trailed off and waited for the next words.
Kim Jaeyeon sounded a bit puzzled.
– “Uh… what, did something good happen? You sound like you’re in a good mood.”
“Just get to the point.”
I drew a sharp line, telling him to shut up and say what he needed to, and Kim Jaeyeon coughed awkwardly, as if to hide his embarrassment, then said,
– “Hmm, ahem… I found it. Yoon Heeun’s weakness.
Listening to the explanation, I let out a snort.
Yoon Heeun, what a dumbass, I thought to myself, but who could’ve known.
I’d soon be making a fool of myself, too.
.
.
.
“—I fucking, I really care about you.”
Even stuttering, I managed to get my point across, but all I got in return was,
[…Did you lose a bet or something?]
After a long silence, only a dumbfounded voice.
Ding!
[The other party does not acknowledge it.]
[Does not count toward the total number of attempts.]
Fuck!
Unable to hold it in, I threw my phone onto the bed.
That’s right.
I’d been so confident, not knowing I’d be suffering like this in the near future.
Should I just give up?
I thought things like acting cute were nothing now, but there was an even bigger hurdle waiting for me.
A thousand thoughts swirled through my head, and I wondered if I really had to go this far, but I had to endure.
Barely calming myself, I picked up my phone again and looked up at the system window.
[Quest received: Express affection to a designated close person.
Express affection to a close person around you and gain their trust to build a stronger relationship.
Number of affectionate expressions: 0/5
If successful: Obtain the Pandora’s Box item
If failed: Rumors about Seong Jiwon will be released to the media
※A close person is one of the people around you.]
Fuck, to find the close person, I had to hit on everyone I knew.
If there was any silver lining, it was that if the person wasn’t the “close” one, the system window would immediately pop up with [The other party is not the player’s designated “close person”], so I didn’t have to waste time on too many failed attempts.
But still…
“This one’s just not it….”
I let my body go limp and flopped onto the bed.
To explain how I ended up like this, I would have to go back a few days.
